As more and more single mothers start re-entering the dating arena, there are some tricky situations to maneuver through. These can be mothers that are either divorced or those that are single because they chose to be. For these women, dating can involve some pretty large hoops to jump through unless youíve got live in help or a relative that just loves to babysit your kids for you. Actually, babysitting is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to coordinating all of the things that need to be taken care of before you can enjoy a night out on the town with a date.
However, in spite of all the preparation for a date, single women continue to have a very successful social life that also includes dating.
The first thing to remember is that any man who may be around your children at any point in time is someone that you need to be very sure about. You need to be certain that heís safe and that he doesnít have any sort of criminal history. Itís also a good idea to find out how he feels about kids before you start dating him. All of these things are very important and should be thoroughly checked into before ever going out on that first date. The last thing you want is to bring someone into your life and that of your children who has a less than stellar background.
A problem that many single moms face when dating is dealing with a child that doesnít want to share their mom with someone new. Now, obviously, you donít want to upset your child that may already be dealing with the fallout from a divorce or death of a father. However, you do need to set some clear boundaries. Itís important for your child to understand that youíre more than just a mom and that you deserve to have some privacy of your own to get out and have some adult fun. You need to explain that youíll always be there for them, but that thereís also a part of your life that belongs only to you. If all else fails and these problems escalate, you probably want to consider having your child speak with a counselor.
Last, but not least, if it begins to look as if a certain relationship may be heading down a path to something more permanent, start incorporating your child into your dating life. Once you feel that someone may become a serious part of your life, he needs to spend some time with your child so that they can become better acquainted. This needs to be done well ahead of time before making any such serious decisions as moving in together or getting married. If your child and your man get along well, the transition will be so much easier because they will have had time to get to know one another and wonít be strangers.
As you can see, it’s much simpler to adjust to dating life as a single mom than you may have ever thought it would be.
Dont Depend On Someone Else To Make You Happy
Too many people these days depend on whether or not theyíre in a relationship to decide if they’re happy or not. This is one of the biggest mistakes you can ever make for both yourself and the future of your relationship. You’ll find out rather quickly that if you rely on the actions of your partner to make you happy that your emotions will stay in constant movement much like riding a roller coaster.
Couples in successful relationships understand this concept. They donít depend on each other for their own personal happiness. Instead, each of them do things that they enjoy and makes them happy independently of each other. This is the key to true personal happiness. Do what you like and get involved in things that make you feel good and energetic. Donít expect your partner to figure out how to keep you happy. That never works out.
Granted, if you and your partner arenít happy being together, or one of you has done something to damage the relationship, itís no surprise that youíll feel unhappy about this. However, itís the event thatís made you sad or angry, not your partner. Your partner isnít a mind reader and cannot tell exactly what they need to be doing at all times so that youíll never be unhappy. Thatís not realistic and people that hook up with someone just because they believe this is what will give them the happiness that theyíve been missing out on will be sorely disappointed.
Couples that are independently happy typically end up making each other happy as partners. Neither of them has anything to prove and simply donít spend a lot of time sitting around questioning whether or not theyíve making their partner happy. They just enjoy feeling happy and let things take their natural course. Thatís the way to keep your relationship moving in the right direction.
Someone thatís so emotional that they take every little comment their partner makes to heart is never going to be completely happy. These are the people that are continuously waiting for their partner to notice things such as a new hairstyle or outfit. When the partner doesnít immediately acknowledge the change, itís blown all out of proportion. Give your partner time to assess the new you and make the appropriate comments.
Stop assuming things regarding your partner. Even though both of you have a lot in common, you’re not always going to move totally in synch with each other. Give your partner room to breathe and accept it when they grant you the same. It’s healthy to lead a life outside of the relationship as long as it’s not interfering with the core of the relationship. You’re the only one that can make you happy. Sure, you can say that you’re happy to be with someone, or even that your partner makes you happy. However, what that doesn’t mean is that you’re totally depending on your partner to keep the happiness alive within you. Make yourself happy and the rest will all fall right into place.